Pregnancy Number 2

Being pregnant this time around has been interesting. I actually feel pretty good and don't hurt at all. With Ellie, I had a lot of low back pain, but I was also 40 lbs heavier so that could've been part of the problem. This time, the only time I have pain is when I do yoga, so I stopped doing it and now I'm fine. I have started to get tired in the afternoons, so sometimes, I nap with Ellie. Unfortunately, if I nap with her in the afternoon, I don't sleep as well at night, so I don't always do that either. My stomach is pretty big, so I'm not sure how big I'm going to be in 14 weeks. It seems like it can't get bigger, but I know it can!

a photo of Ellie when we went to Clemson

The biggest challenge I've had this pregnancy has been hormones and emotions. I am feeling a lot of emotions and fear about going from one baby to two. At first, it was just fear about having an infant again, and what that will be like with a toddler. How will I get Ellie to nap and tend to the baby at the same time? What about bed time? How will I nurse? Will the baby easily hang while I take Ellie on playdates? Then I started to get really concerned about how Ellie would handle sharing me. She is a very attached baby, she's very shy, and she loves mama! She loves to snuggle which is awesome, but how will she handle me nursing the baby, or putting him to bed? Then, I started to really "mourn" the "loss" of our relationship. That sounds so crazy because we're not losing our relationship, but it will no longer be just Ellie and I. There will be another. I know that I will love him just the same and there will be a beautiful relationship between the two of them that I have never experienced since I'm an only child, but still, it will be different. 

I've done a lot of journaling about this and I think I'm finally coming on the other side. I'm accepting the fact that it will be hard, it will be different, but I can handle it just like many other moms do. I'm focusing on all of the positive aspects of adding another child to the mix and I realize that I am very lucky to 1) be able to have very easy pregnancies, 2) be able to have another baby, 3) be able to stay, at home with the babies and 4) be present enough to work through emotions as they arise so I can be the best mom I can be. It's definitely not perfect but I feel like I'm doing a lot of the good stuff like being present and loving them. What a blessing!

Social Media: Friend or Foe?

I've always been a fan of social media, specifically Facebook, as anyone who is my connection knows. I like to keep up with friends, their babies, graduations, etc. Facebook began around the time I was in college, and although we weren't 100% sure what to do with it, my roommates and I joined happily. It always seemed a lot more interesting than MySpace, mainly because it was exclusive to college kids. Over the years, I have used it to keep in touch with friends and family, as well as follow pages dedicated to specific interests i.e. yoga, sports, motherhood. There are a few communities that I truly appreciate, especially the ones dedicated to attachment parenting, as I know very few moms in my area that parent in that style. I don't feel like such an outcast when I read the articles and comments. It's also helped me make some decisions when the people around me were pressuring me to do something different. Lastly, I've used it to spread the message about my yoga classes, just as I am using this as an outlet for my thoughts and experiences in life. It's a useful tool and I do appreciate all of it's benefits.

Yet lately, I've been feeling the very negative effects of Facebook, in particular. Instagram and Snapchat seem to be the easy way to enjoy other peoples' posts without having the drama and hyped up information to get you to click clamoring for your attention. I have been reading yoga books recently and almost every single one of them talk about shutting out the negativity of media. Max Strom, Marianne Williamson, and Michael Singer are just a few who mention reducing the amount of stimulus we receive from those sources as they are meant to incite fear and disturb our souls. I know that this is true and I've known it for a while, but how does one ignore the temptation to be informed of everything going on in the world? I've come to a place in my life where I seriously question every single thing that I read and challenge almost every idea presented to me. That can be good, but it sends my mind into a whirlwind of thought and makes me kind of cynical. So I've decided to limit my Facebook interaction to times when I'm actually at my computer. I've deleted the app on my phone, and am trying to limit how much I go there. I don't want to ignore it completely because I do get a lot of useful information about the yoga community and of course, it's how a lot of people read this blog :). 

What are your thoughts on social media? What about following the news? How do you find a balance between the information given and reality? Here are some recent topics that have sent me into a tailspin:

*ticks - deadly tick diseases are everywhere so BEWARE and set yourself on fire at night when you come home or you'll die from a deadly tick disease

*babies die in car seats, swings, bouncy seats, and anything other than a crib. Oh yeah, and your baby can also die in the crib. 

*Nutella can kill you. All GMO's will kill you

*You're not getting enough Vitamin D... or K... 

*Vitamin supplements will kill you

*Top 10 reasons you should not ___________

*Top 10 reasons you should __________

*You're doing everything wrong in your life. Stop it and follow the advice of this blogger because this person is an expert. 

Ok, I might've exaggerated a bit but that's what I feel like my newsfeed says always. It's exhausting.