Book Review: The Untethered Soul

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 Through the recommendation of a friend here in Greenville, Liz Delaney of Greenville Yoga, I read this book, The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. I've obviously been in the dark because upon further research, I noticed that Oprah recommended this book years ago. I started reading it in the beginning of the year, but because I have a toddler, and I go through heavy reading phases, I just finished it. 

 In summary, the book is a philosophy on how we can separate our emotions from everything that is happening around us. Maybe I shouldn't even say that. It's about learning how to recognize our own soul which is beyond our emotions, our actions, the masks we create, and how through letting all of that go, we can become enlightened beyond the happenings of the world. Not sure if I'm really doing it justice, but what I will tell you is that it's a very complicated book with ideas that can seem somewhat radical if one has never been introduced to them before. 

 In terms of how it reads, it's a little difficult to understand. The language he is using is basic, but the concepts are difficult for someone like me to internalize. I found myself, at certain points in the book, understanding the need to let go of our attachment to self but not really understanding how. At other times, I was completely clear and felt like it was something I could do. I don't think that's his writing as much as it is my inability to think in the abstract and always wanting concrete examples. He does use examples and that helps tremendously. I underlined a lot in this book, and felt like much of the message resonated with me, especially in this time in my life. Some of my favorite quotes were:

"You're ready to grow when you finally realize that the 'I' who is always talking inside will never be content" p. 15

"This technique of freeing yourself is done with the understanding that thoughts and emotions are just objects of consciousness." p. 64

"Life is surrounding you with people and situations that stimulate growth. You don't have to decide who's right or wrong. You don't have to worry about other people's issues. You only have to be willing to open your heart in the face of anything and everything, and permit the purification process to take place." p. 74

"No matter what happens below you, just turn your eyes upward and relax your heart." p. 78

"In truth, pain is the price of freedom. And the moment that you are willing to pay that price, you will no longer be afraid... you'll be able to face all of life's situations without fear." p. 106

"Your relationship with God is the same as your relationship with the sun. If you hid from the sun for years and then chose to come out of your darkness, the sun would still be shining as if you had never left. You don't need to apologize. You just pick your head up and look at the sun." p. 180

 I realize that there is a voice in my head who is constantly talking, and really, it's quite annoying. What a relief it was for me to realize that this voice isn't actually me, and that I don't have to listen. The other epiphany I had was when he said that I can objectively view that voice, my emotions, and I don't have to participate in them. Yes, I recognize them, I give them validity because they are a signal to me that I need healing in that area, but I don't have to follow the path towards saving them because I can let them go. I've found myself doing that many times and just breathing into the physical feeling of that emotion. By doing that, I can feel the release that he describes. It's actually a hard concept to process because it is so easy to believe my thoughts and emotions and to follow them down the rabbit hole. I know that my perception of life is based on my past experiences, but having him remind me that just because I think it doesn't make it true is freeing. 

I absolutely recommend this book for anyone and everyone. I think it's life changing, although it doesn't read that way. For me, it wasn't something that I could read in a weekend or on a beach trip. I had to really process a lot of what he was saying and I felt some resistance in doing so. I don't know if that's because I didn't want to hear it or if it had to do with his writing or maybe it was a bit of both. Either way, I put this on my list of must read spiritual books. Thanks Liz for recommending it. 

Mother's Day

This Sunday will be my second Mother's Day where I actually get to celebrate being a mother. It's been an interesting ride so far, and although I've complained a lot, it's really the most rewarding job I've ever had.

I don't actually know if Ellie is really hard or I just have a lot pain tolerance, but it might be a bit of both. The thing I will say is that what makes it so hard is that I want to do a good job, I want her to know she's loved, and having a kid forces you to look at yourself and heal from past experiences. In the past, I've always just maintained a very busy life so that I wouldn't have to recognize my character defects, but now that I'm a mom, and I don't work, I'm busy but I also spend a lot of time in my head. I've been forced to slow down and learn how to live in the present moment. That's actually been a very, very difficult, but also very wonderful experience. I've had a chance to look at my idiosyncrasies and reflect on how they're serving me. I've had a chance to look at some pain and heal from that, knowing that in the long run, it'll be better for my child to do so. 

I don't know if it's been the extra pregnancy hormones or the fact that I know our time together is going to get cut short soon, but lately, my heart has been so full of love for Ellie. She's such a sweet and caring child, she's so curious, and she loves to make me laugh. I've never known love like this before and while it can be painful from all of the fear I feel of possibly losing her, it's broken down my walls of protection and helped me to open more as a human being. There is no way I would have ever been able to understand this level of empathy had I not had kids. To think I wasn't even sure if I wanted any, now I'm about to have my second. Life is funny that way. Maybe I subconsciously knew how much I would love these little beings and I wasn't sure I wanted to sign up for that. Every night, I thank God for the opportunity to have Ellie in my life. 

Being a mother has also helped me grow a level of gratitude and understanding for what my own mother did. She raised me on her own, working two jobs to make ends meet, and dealing with a child who is as strong willed as Ellie. I can only imagine how much harder it would be to not have a supportive husband and have the fear of bringing home enough money to live. I understand the will and the drive a mother has to protect and provide for a child, and only through that can I imagine that single moms are able to keep going. What a blessing to have a mother willing to go to any length to make sure my life was as comfortable as possible. 

Sometimes I think if I have to pick up one more piece of bacon off of the floor, or tell her if she puts that daggum play dough in her mouth, or whatever, I'm going to lose my mind. And sometimes I do lose my mind, then I have to apologize. But then, she lays her head on my shoulder and says mama in the sweetest voice. Or she talks about the birds. Or she likes to smell the roses in the front yard. Or she gets so excited about daddy coming home that she does a little dance. It humbles me and makes me realize that I am truly grateful, not only for m beautiful family, but for this spirited little girl and the opportunity to be with her each day, in the present moment.