Friday, April 20, 2012

Rwanda Update

I am officially booked for my Rwanda trip. I bought the airline tickets and paid the program fee. I still have to get a police clearance, get my immunizations, get travel insurance, and I think those are the major things.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

HAWMC - Day 19 - 5 dinner guests

Todays challenge:

5 Dinner Guests. Who are 5 people you’d love to have dinner with (living or deceased) and why?

I don't know who to choose because it depends on what I'm trying to do. What if I want to have a fun, wild dinner? It'd be different than if I had a serious, want to learn dinner. Or maybe not - maybe it could be both. So let's see - who would I invite to dinner? I think I'd like to ask someone from each area of interest that I have. 

1. Sports Guy -  Dabo Swinney to ask him wtf is going on. Haha, just kidding. But seriously, I would like to ask a sports person to come to dinner... So who would it be??? Bear Bryant. No, I'm not an Alabama fan, but he is such a legendary coach, it'd be kind of cool to talk to him and relive the glory days at Alabama. 

2. Clemson Person - R.C. Edwards, former President of Clemson University. He LOVED Clemson. He had so much fun as President there and I've heard stories of how he would rush the field with the students. I think he'd be kind of fun to talk to. 

3. Spiritual Leader - Gandhi. The way that he dedicated his life to his people, and gave so much of himself for the freedom for his people is pretty amazing to me. He led a life of selfless devotion. I think it'd be pretty cool to see what he is like. 

4. Runner - Kara Goucher - I know that she has struggled with self doubt in her life so it'd be neat to her more about her. I read an article on her in Runner's World where she felt like her mentality is what held her back sometimes. I totally relate to that. So it'd be cool to hear what she has to say about it. 

5. Author - Marianne Williamson. She'd be another spiritual leader but I could have 2! I think I would ask her a lot of questions and ask for a lot of advice. She is amazing. 

So that's my list. 
Who would you invite? 

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

HAWMC - Day 18 (I think) - Open a Book

Our challenge for today -

Open a Book. Choose a book and open it to a random page and point to a phrase. Use that phrase to get you writing today. Free write for 15-20 without stopping.

One of my favorite books ever is A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. So, today, I decided to use an excerpt from her book! I actually looked online on Amazon and had it "surprise me". Here's what I came up with - 

"At a certain point, we forgive because we decide to forgive. Healing occurs in the present, not the past."

This quote is really the entire essence of the book. Marianne William's intention when writing books, giving speeches, everything is always about love and forgiveness. She says that true joy and happiness is found in love. And in order to fully love, one must fully forgive. 

I can't really speak from anyone else's experience but my own, so what I will say is that this has been true for me. And the thing is, it's so easy to forgive my husband when he does something to make me mad, or to forgive my friend if she did something like stand me up - but where the true miracle happens is when we forgive someone who has truly wronged us in some capacity. 

That boyfriend I had who constantly cheated on me, my biological father for disappearing from my life in my developmental years, the wrongs that cut to the core. Things are going to happen to us in life. People are going to do things that are really really bad. And our anger is going to be justified. But my freedom from being tied to that person, even if it's in anger, will be to forgive him/her. Does that mean that all of the sudden, their wrong is right.... no. It also doesn't mean that all of the sudden, I am going to begin to participate in that person's life. But what it does is give me the opportunity to break free from the power that he/she has over me. 

When I'm angry/hurt with someone, when that person's presence has an effect on me, I am giving that person power over my emotions. Through forgiveness, I can no longer be affected by him/her and I can be truly free. 

Yoga talks about living in the present moment. When I am truly in the present moment, I am no longer tied to the past. Being in the present moment, the past didn't happen. It's gone. It is not happening right now. That is where the healing occurs. And that's what Marianne Williamson is talking about. 

I'm not real great at talking about serious things so I hope I've been able to articulate my thoughts on this!!! 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

HAWMC - Learned the Hard Way

Today's Challenge

"Learned the Hard Way. What’s a lesson you learned the hard way? Write about it for 15 today."

I've learned a lot of things the hard way so it's kind of difficult to pick one thing and go with it. I guess I can talk about my weight loss journey since that seems to be most relevant to my health focus. 

pics from the mud run I did this weekend

I've grown up always thinking I needed to lose about 10 lbs. Even when I was a teenager, I've always thought I was fat. The only time that I really felt like I was at a good weight was when I stopped drinking in 2000. I weighed about 110 lbs at that point which is probably 45 lbs less than what I weigh now - not good. 

Since then, I have struggled with binge eating. I think the lesson that I really struggled with was the idea that it's not about the food. When someone has a life strong struggle with weight issues, whether they are anorexic, bulimic, a binge eater, whatever - it is not about the food. It seems like it's about the food, but there has to be something that made that person seek solace in food. People that don't eat in a disordered fashion don't eat until they are sick. They don't restrict themselves in an unhealthy way. 

I'm on the right - this is me at my largest - don't even ask what we're doing

Towards the end of 2007, I began exercising and also began my phase of extreme dieting. I would go on diets that would cut out entire food groups. Like one was trying to get your body to burn fat so it restricted all carbs including fruit! I was so weak and really actually kind of angry. Then, I started doing the Zone which included lots of weighing and measuring food. I had success. I lost weight. I dropped to 145 lbs which was the thinnest I had ever been. It was about 25 lbs less than the picture above. 

me at 145 lbs

End of story, right? No. Remember that whole part about the food not being the issue. Well, all of the sudden, the diet didn't work. Being thin didn't "solve" those issues, it didn't bring me the happiness I thought I would have and so I started eating again. And because I had been restricting for so long, it was much worse than it had been before. Cheat days went from 1 day a week to 4 days a week and then pretty much all the time. Now, I had something to be guilty for (not following my "diet"). 

I finally had enough of feeling badly, eating badly, treating my body poorly, etc. I started seeing someone and began the journey that I am still on now. This time, I wanted to solve whatever issues I needed to solve. I'd like to say that I am completely accepting of myself now, even about 10-15 lbs heavier than in this pic, but I still struggle with food issues, negative self talk, etc. The only difference now is that 1) it's not as frequent and 2) I don't think that a new "diet" is going to be the solution. It has taken me 12 years to get to the place where my goal is acceptance of myself and all of my flaws. I know that my happiness is only going to come from that. And helping others. 

What are your struggles? 
What lesson have you had a hard time learning? 

Monday, April 16, 2012

HAWMC - Pinterest Boards

Today's Challenge -

Pinboard. Create a pinterest board for your health focus. Pin 3 things. What did you pin? Share the images in a post and explain why you chose them.

I really already have a Pinterest board like this so it should be easy!

I pinned this because I think that we constantly chase certain things thinking they will make us happy and this article reminds us that our happiness is here, right now. 

Pinned via Jane G via Black Tie Tumblr

You need people in your life that are going to build you up, not tear up down

Pinned via Caryn S via Carrie Can

I need to be myself even if it isn't always valued/status quo/popular - see the pin above

Pinned via Amy Quinn via Easy Influence Tumblr

Because Marilyn Monroe's body is beautiful and she'd be considered plus size today. That is ridiculous. 

Think Positive!!

Really I have a lot more but I figured this gives you an overview. My health focus - love yourself and the rest will come. 

Namaste Y'all