Monday, June 25, 2012

My Fears

As the time for my trip approaches, the reality of the fact that I am traveling to Africa all by myself is setting in. I know that I still have to get a police clearance and send that to GVN as well as my travel information. I have gotten all of my shots and I have to email the orphanage to see what items they may need. All of the duties are pretty much done and so now, we wait.

Obviously, I'm afraid of the standard things like traveling by myself. Am I going to get lost? What if I miss my flight? Will I know where to go when I arrive? I'm also nervous about all of the things that everyone else is nervous about for me such as will I be safe? Am I going to be attacked by a wild animal? What if I get bitten my a mosquito? What if I eat the wrong thing and get sick? Some things that make me feel better are the fact that many of my friends have traveled to Africa and done a very similar thing, so I know that I'm not the only person that's ever done this and I'm sure I'll be fine. The other thing I think is that I feel strongly that I have been called to do this so I doubt that God would move me in the direction of doing this without giving me some protection. That being said, I'm still bringing along some of my favorite lucky charms like a small rosary that a friend gave me (she actually had it made for me), a St Benedict medal and a Our Lady Guadalupe medal, and maybe some deet :).

Overall though, I think the biggest fear is that I will be afraid that I will miss the opportunity. I only have 2 weeks. I don't have time to "adjust", I tend to be shy in new situations, especially when every single thing around me is different. I will sit back and observe, I'll find someone I have something in common with and latch on for dear life. But I cannot do that here. I have to go in with an open mind and an open heart. I'm not 100% sure what to do with the kids, or really what I'll be doing so I've got to come up with some ways to entertain them! I love children and I think I'll be okay but I just don't want to waste my time being shy and afraid. When I was in Costa Rica, there was a safety issue and I spent a lot of time afraid of going outside. I did a lot of cool things, but I feel like I could've done more. So my goal for this trip is to let go of fears and throw myself into the experience. I'm going to be safe, but I just don't want to be lead by fear.

1 comment:

  1. I am so excited for you. The thing about kids is they are universal. Some may have more "stuff" but at the end of the day they love to play. Don't be afraid to be goofy. Dance, laugh, and smile and they will love you.

    The fears you are feeling are valid and I had them too the first time I went to Africa. I was never attacked by a wild animal (except for the time the elephant chased our Land Rover but I wasn't driving and got a great photo!). I got bit my many mosquitos but didn't get malaria. I drank unclear water and luckily didn't get sick (think the grain alcohol a local gave me likely killed all the bugs in my system and probably a few brain cells too).

    Have a blast and I can't wait to hear about the details when you get home. Miss seeing you!