When I first started on this journey of getting healthy, everything was new. It was exciting. I learned all these different workouts, I read about nutrition, my body was changing and I was learning to love myself. It was easy to stay motivated and I never had to fight to to workout. As time went on, I had to learn that I'm not always going to be that motivated. It's not always going to be new, it's not always going to be easy. I have to be flexible and I have to give myself a break. There are going to be times when I workout 6 days a week and I eat great; there are also going to be times where I don't. And these are those times.
About a month ago, my grandfather got sick. He had a kidney transplant 5 years ago and he has to take anti-rejection medicine. Every winter, he goes through a spell of the flu and it takes longer to get rid of. A month ago, he passed out in church from mixing too much cough medicine with his other medicines. Then he got a stomach virus, he got a blood infection which in turn became a full blown infection in his spinal column. After that, he went intro atrial fibrillation and now he's on the ICU floor. He's been at St Francis for 2 weeks and in that time, I've spent every day here. Sometimes I just come for a couple of hours after work. Sometimes, I spend the night (i'm doing that now hence the new blogs), and sometimes I'm here all day. Now is the time when I have to be flexible with my workout schedule and give myself a break. In the past, I would've beaten myself up for not eating right, not working out, all of those things. But I'm tired, this is emotional, I still have to work, so the best thing I can do, is take a break. For two weeks, I took a break, I didn't run, I didn't workout, I didn't even do yoga. I just slept when I needed it, came to the hospital when I needed it, and obviously, worked. I've made some time to spend with my husband and even gotten a chance to cook. But I've eaten a lot of fast food and I've not been good about drinking water. All of those things combined would've sent me into a tailspin of worry about weight gain and "getting fat again". In the past, I wouldn't have been able to care for myself, my family or my grandfather because of my obsession to be thin. I'm grateful for the healthy perspective I have on my life now and my ability to be flexible when need be.
I'm going to give the credit to Yoga and a good therapist :)