Girl, look at that body - I work out

As I am coming off of this very LONG workout break, I think I have finally realized what that was all about. I will say that after training for 3 half marathons (even if haphazardly) I was a little bit burnt out, but I think I also I needed to prove to myself that this wasn't some type of unhealthy addiction.

Working out for people can become unhealthy SO QUICKLY. Movement is very important and I think we all need to be moving, but when I get into the mentality of calories in, calories out, that is a dangerous place. I'm not saying that every single person that does this is unhealthy, I'm saying that for me, this is a dangerous place. So not really having any kind of routine, just working out here and there, has been good for me to re-evaluate my goals and my idea of a "healthy" lifestyle. Here are some of the things that I've learned about myself recently.

1 - I could possibly be a teeny bit ADHD 

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I don't know for sure, I have not been diagnosed, but people have always asked me over the years about that. Recently, 3 different people asked me about it in one week. My thought was, why are they all asking all of the sudden? I've obviously been this way forever, but is it just more noticeable now? 

I talked to my therapist about it (one who mentioned it may be a problem) and she felt like exercise is kind of a way for me to handle that. I obviously have lots and lots of energy, and exercise helps me focus that energy into something. 

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2 - My body hurts without it

I've always had this nagging hip injury and I thought that it was something that was irritated from running. I've done yoga, stretching, blah blah thinking that eventually, it'll go away because maybe it was just too tight. Then I thought, maybe it's just overuse and this little break I have from running will help. Well, actually it got worse. Since I haven't been running, my hip pain is actually worse. I think it's from being sedentary at work. I work 8-6 and my job is me sitting at a desk, banging out calls (i'm a headhunter). So, sitting at the desk all day is actually hurting my hip! And running is the cure - who know? 

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3 - It actually does help me feel better about myself

I don't want to get into the mindset that I HAVE to workout because I've eaten poorly and I don't want to feel like I can't eat something if I haven't worked out. But, I do feel better about myself when I move. I think it's a combination of the endorphin high, the feeling that I accomplished something I wasn't sure I could, and yes, I burnt a few extra calories. Those are all factors that contribute me actually feeling better after working out. 

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I'm glad that I have to come to the conclusion that working out is actually good for me. I have to do that stuff every once in a while just to make sure that I am actually being healthy. What I do not want to be is someone who appears as though they live a health lifestyle, but they eat "low-fat" and they say, "oh I ate a brownie today so I have to do 30 extra minutes of cardio". That works for some and that's fine, but I do not want to be a "slave" to anything, not food, not working out, nothing. So, I have now proved to myself that I am not and I'm ready to get back into the swing of things!