Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Learning to Say No!!!

Every now and again, I realize that I have spread myself too thin by saying yes when asked to do something. I love to help out -

1. because I like being helpful
2. because sometimes I think there may be an opportunity in a situation that I don't want to miss

but what that means is I get myself into situations like I'm in right now.

like this

I feel really lucky for the opportunities I've been able to be a part of - 

Go Run - 

FAVOR SC and the Gifts of Recovery Festival

And then there are the things that I'm doing because I want to like -

Yoga Teacher Training

Football Season

I'm on the left

Marathon Training

but right now, I'm effin' tired. I've got to scale it back. And what that means, I have to give up on some things that I don't want to. I have to say no to some people and I have to say no to myself. I'm at a point right now where I leave my house at 7:30 am and I get home anywhere between 8:30-9:30 pm. That is too much. I am tired. I can't keep going like this. 

And the thing is, because people know they can rely on me, and because I always say yes, I keep getting calls about doing one more thing. When I try to get some down time, I can't. Because there always seems to be an emergency and I've got to take care of it. It's frustrating. 

And who do I take it out on, my husband. Because I know he won't leave me and I know he'll take it. That is SSSOOOO not fair to him. So I'm about to make some serious changes in my life. The first change was not doing the marathon. I'm not doing it. Period. I do not care what anyone else thinks or says, I am not doing it. I'm going to do the half and enjoy it without having to pour my heart and soul into training because I don't have the time or the motivation. The second thing is that I'm not going to take on any new responsibilities. I am chairing the Gifts of Recovery Festival again (really, co-chairing with about 3 others), and possibly do more with that but as for other things.... no. Lastly, I'm going to take my training down a notch. I may only work out 4 days a week. And that will have to do for now. I am not going to run myself ragged because I'm trying to hold up some ideal that I am a hard core workout person who needs to be active 7 days a week. I just can't. And that might change after football season. And if it does, great. But if I had to cut out everything but yoga, I would, simply because what's important in my life is my husband, my recovery and for now, my job. And those are three things that come before anything else. If I take care of those, everything else will fall into place. 

Have you ever had to take a step back and slow down? 
How do you balance training and your life? 


  1. This is always a hard place to be in. You are a very goal driven person and its hard to not take on the world. I have learned UNDER commit over PREFORM :). At one time I was going irun saturday morning, helping out with golden strip track team, working full time RN, and part time at sportsclub while starting my training for ironman. Yeah I was packed but I wore myself out. Oh yeah, I was also a wife hehe ;) Well I took a step back and said what do I want, and need. I took it all down to wife, full time job (didn't want but needed this), and ironman. Honestly your life will change all the time, and what is in balance this year will be out of balance next year. Good luck and there will always be more Marathons and races to do next year, and I am sure you will be in a better place to train :) PS I will be logging lots of miles during the winter if you want to run once you are balanced again.

  2. Thanks for posting this. I needed this today. I'm in the same boat as you. Too many things that I have to do and too many things that people want me to do. Plus, working out like a mad-man, trying to loose the rest of this weight. Keep writing, I enjoy it.

  3. Thanks guys. Alisen, lets definitely run together. I want to ride together too, I just need to find the time to do it!!!

  4. I have a difficult time with saying NO too. I run myself into a deep hole and then end up where I am now...on a leave from work frazzled and out of balance. Well, that was me 8 months ago anyway. I see my pendulum swinging the other way (back to work on Nov 1st). Hopefully I can keep it all in check this time around. Whenever I need motivation and to place boundaries, I can come back and read your post!

    Is it bad to chant NO, NO, NO to make it stick in our heads? Seems like a negative but perhaps it will reinforce balance.

    1. for some reason, this went to spam and I'm just getting it. i am getting to that point where i'n doing too much again and I'm getting burnt out so it's about time for me to stop again. it's so hard