Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Holy crap - it never ends!!!

As many of you know who have been reading my posts lately, I am in the process of significantly reducing my commitments, activity, everything that is going on right now in my life because I am tired. That seems like it would be an easy thing to do but it hasn't been. Every time I get done with a commitment, someone asks me to do something else. And while I normally love helping people do things, I am at a point where I just feel like I have nothing left to give. I can't get any down time to replenish and rest. I didn't really do anything on Sunday, but it didn't seem like enough. That's how I know I'm getting burnt out... that one day of sitting on the couch all day doesn't seem like enough. I talked to a friend of mine, a mentor I guess, and she helped me to prioritize the things in my life - 

1. My Spiritual life - what am I doing to make sure this is developing/growing - this has to come first
2. My husband/family - am I giving him the attention he deserves/needs 
3. My friends 
4. Work

She said a good thing to do would be to write down all the things I'm doing for myself physically, mentally and emotionally and see what's working/what's not. That is something I'll probably try to do this week. 

1. The one thing I will say is that my prayer and meditation has increased significantly. I am really trying to focus on God's will and stay present so that I can be aware of opportunities he has for me. I honestly think that is why I'm realizing how much I am in need of slowing down. It has become abundantly clear that I need to cut back and take a look at why I am keeping myself so busy. 

2. My husband - this seems to be the first thing that suffers because I know that if I blow him off, he will still love me and be married to me. Isn't it funny how the people that are close to us suffer the most? So this is an area where I can greatly improve and yet again, is why I'm trying to change things around. 

3. Friends - this one is interesting. I try so hard to be involved in everything going on because I don't want to miss out. I want to be present for everyone, help everyone, be involved with everyone and it is starting to take at toll on me. What I have to do is evaluate the relationships in my life and focus on the few that have been important. I think that's why "Into the Wild" was spoke to me so much was because he was not concerned with relationships. It's not that I think I should not have any friends, it's that I don't have to have so many surface level friends just to prove to myself that I'm likable. Growing up, I didn't have a lot of friends and I've somehow taken those regrets with me through life. I've tried to have lots and lots and lots of friends to convince myself that I am okay. I've realized that how many people I know does not have a direct effect on who I am. Now knowing that, I can stop trying so hard and just appreciate the ones that have been there for me. Maybe then, I can spend the time developing those into something more instead of having lots of people that I don't really know that well. 

4. Work - If i'm taking care of myself in other areas, this one is easy. I can be there and work hard. 

So that's my goal over the next two months. I am enjoying my break from working out but it is also vital to my sanity so have to start figuring out the way to get back on track. 

Do you over-commit? 
How do you get back to your normal self? 

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